The Shit has Hittith the Fan

So I get to school 15 minutes late on Thursday (damn traffic) and I'm already frazzled. When I walk into the office, the clerk says that the principal wants to see me in two minutes. Then I see Jessica, her mom, and her father-in-law sitting in the office. Oh joy. I go into the Principal's office and Jessica's mom is saying that her daughter was sexually assaulted in my classroom. Jessica told her that Rob told her to kiss him, she said she didn't want to, he told her he wouldn't be her friend, so she kissed him. The principal wants to hear from me what happened, and she scold me for making a poor judgement choice letting the students have "rest time". I admit to all of them that I made a bad judgement, and I say it will never happen again.
Meanwhile I am trying to keep it together and not start bawling. I feel awful that all this happened because I made a bad choice. Jessica's mom wants Rob kicked out of the school pr put into another classroom. The principal explains that this is not legal, and he has rights just as Jessica has rights. The mom keep referring to two past incidents last school year between Rob and Jessica saying that she doesn't want her daughter anywhere near him. We have been through this before, and all last year I had to make sure Jessica and Rob were separated. I pointed out to her mother that many times I catch Jessica hugging Rob or playing with him (her going over to him). I told her I have said many times, "Jessica, do not hug Rob. Your mother does not want you near Rob or playing with him." So she is not completely innocent in this problem relationship.

So at this point I go back to my classroom and the students are just arriving at school. I'm trying to say hello to them, but every time I try to talk I start to cry. Then my aide walks in the room and she asks me what's wrong and I just loose it. I'm really upset at this point, which is, of course, when they tell me the principal wants to see me again.
So, after talking to the case worker and the social worker, the principal and Jessica's mom decided that I need to keep Jessica away from Rob at all times. She has to go with me and hold my hand (or my aide) everywhere we go. Also, there is absolutely no touching and no hugging allowed in our classroom anymore. At all. This is a shame because my kids love to ask me for a hug because a lot of them don't get any affection at home. Jessica will also go to lunch with a separate classroom, and if I am ever absent she will go to separate class as well (and I have to have a work packet ready for her in case).

Then we go into the classroom and my aide immediately makes a HUGE red stop sign that says, "NO TOUCHING" and "NO HUGGING" on it with crosses through the phrases. The social worker comes into the class and talks with the kids about good touch and bad touch, they role play and practice saying, "NO!" She tells me that the case manager, her, and even the principal were defending me in the meeting and saying that I am a very good teacher. That is reassuring.

Once she leaves I start a lesson about Washington D.C. and the monuments. Of course the Principal, walks in to do her official observation of me! I swear she's seeing what I can handle. The lesson is actually going great, and the kids line up for lunch. She asks one of the students if he kissed another student, and he gets embarrassed and starts crying. Then she says, "It's OK" and proceeds to HUG HIM! "I know there's no hugging," she says AS SHE IS HUGGING HIM! What the heck? We just got through this whole freaking incident and there is to be no hugging at all. She saw the new big sign we put up. These kids especially need consistency and clear rules. Yes, let's confuse the special ed students even more! When she walked out of the room, she did say she enjoyed the lesson.

So, the rest of the day Jessica is my shadow and I don't even go eat lunch because I'm too afraid to leave her alone. I also notice that her mother is talking to the Robocop (security guy) in the lobby, and then he keeps walking by my room every 15 minutes and looking in. Apparently I'm in Big Brother now.

I leave school that day as fast as humanly possible and cry about all of it to my husband that night. You may think I'm making a big deal out of all this and I'm too sensitive. Maybe I am. But before you judge, try spending 7 hours a day being these studnet's teaching, role model, mother, therapist, security and sometimes only positive, reliable person in their lives. And then making a bad call that makes them feel unsafe. One of my first priorities is to make my classroom a safe enviornemtn, and I didn't do that. I know I'm only one part of the equation, but I'm the first step.