And so it goes...

Of course the story couldn't end there. The saga continues. I'll try to make this short:

All day on Monday I keep my shadow (i.e. Jessica) with me. When I take the students to library, I explain the situation to the librarian and tell her Jessica and Rob must not go near each other. When I pick them up Jessica tells me Rob hit her on the back with a book when he was walking by her. I tell her to show me how he hit her. Well, "hit" is more like "tap" when she shows me. I ask Rob if he did it, he says, "yes because she stick her tongue out at me." Jessica says she did not. I tell Rob if he is lying, then he will go to the office. He then says, no. I ask him why he lied and he tells me "I wanted to get her in trouble."
So I know Jessica is going to go home and tell her mom he "hit" her, so I see her in the lobby (of course - she's stalking me at this point. OH, and have I mentioned that my classroom is diagonal from the lobby right across from the office?) and explain what happened. She's pissed, and demands something happen to Rob. She also says that if she's in a meeting with Rob's mom then there needs to be a police officer there because she'll "hit her and I don't care if I go to jail." Hello Ghetto! This mom is P - S - Y - C - H - O ! She's called her daughter "fragile" in front of the child in a meeting. No wonder every time the girl has a paper cut she shows me and acts like it's a crisis!

- So Rob is suspended for 1 day (although if his mom wanted to, she could get the school in trouble because tapping a student with a book is not a suspend able offense in the code of conduct).
- Jessica is now going to gym, art, library, and computers, and lunch with another class. These times differ from my classes prep times, so when my students go to their preps and lunch, guess who stays with me? Those are my breaks and planning time. Now I have to cart her around.
- To top it off, when I went to get my post-conference from my principal, she told me the following:
1. I don't know what kind of parent I'm dealing with and she will not go away. I have to be "on my toes" always.
2. The mother is looking for a lawsuit, and she doesn't care if she ruins my career. (she even said this the day before she apologized to me saying, "I wasn't trying to get you in trouble." um, OK.
3. Any time ANYTHING happens to Jessica I should call her mom asap. Also, write down every time Jessica doesn't follow directions (like when she hugged a teacher this morning) and give it to her mom.

Basically she's throwing me under the bus - she's saying that I need to this mom happy, but if I don't then it's going to be all on me. it's bullshit.

Secretly, I hope Jessica does screw up and go near Rob or not follow directions. Then I can give It to her crazy mom. She's making my life hell right now.

The Shit has Hittith the Fan

So I get to school 15 minutes late on Thursday (damn traffic) and I'm already frazzled. When I walk into the office, the clerk says that the principal wants to see me in two minutes. Then I see Jessica, her mom, and her father-in-law sitting in the office. Oh joy. I go into the Principal's office and Jessica's mom is saying that her daughter was sexually assaulted in my classroom. Jessica told her that Rob told her to kiss him, she said she didn't want to, he told her he wouldn't be her friend, so she kissed him. The principal wants to hear from me what happened, and she scold me for making a poor judgement choice letting the students have "rest time". I admit to all of them that I made a bad judgement, and I say it will never happen again.
Meanwhile I am trying to keep it together and not start bawling. I feel awful that all this happened because I made a bad choice. Jessica's mom wants Rob kicked out of the school pr put into another classroom. The principal explains that this is not legal, and he has rights just as Jessica has rights. The mom keep referring to two past incidents last school year between Rob and Jessica saying that she doesn't want her daughter anywhere near him. We have been through this before, and all last year I had to make sure Jessica and Rob were separated. I pointed out to her mother that many times I catch Jessica hugging Rob or playing with him (her going over to him). I told her I have said many times, "Jessica, do not hug Rob. Your mother does not want you near Rob or playing with him." So she is not completely innocent in this problem relationship.

So at this point I go back to my classroom and the students are just arriving at school. I'm trying to say hello to them, but every time I try to talk I start to cry. Then my aide walks in the room and she asks me what's wrong and I just loose it. I'm really upset at this point, which is, of course, when they tell me the principal wants to see me again.
So, after talking to the case worker and the social worker, the principal and Jessica's mom decided that I need to keep Jessica away from Rob at all times. She has to go with me and hold my hand (or my aide) everywhere we go. Also, there is absolutely no touching and no hugging allowed in our classroom anymore. At all. This is a shame because my kids love to ask me for a hug because a lot of them don't get any affection at home. Jessica will also go to lunch with a separate classroom, and if I am ever absent she will go to separate class as well (and I have to have a work packet ready for her in case).

Then we go into the classroom and my aide immediately makes a HUGE red stop sign that says, "NO TOUCHING" and "NO HUGGING" on it with crosses through the phrases. The social worker comes into the class and talks with the kids about good touch and bad touch, they role play and practice saying, "NO!" She tells me that the case manager, her, and even the principal were defending me in the meeting and saying that I am a very good teacher. That is reassuring.

Once she leaves I start a lesson about Washington D.C. and the monuments. Of course the Principal, walks in to do her official observation of me! I swear she's seeing what I can handle. The lesson is actually going great, and the kids line up for lunch. She asks one of the students if he kissed another student, and he gets embarrassed and starts crying. Then she says, "It's OK" and proceeds to HUG HIM! "I know there's no hugging," she says AS SHE IS HUGGING HIM! What the heck? We just got through this whole freaking incident and there is to be no hugging at all. She saw the new big sign we put up. These kids especially need consistency and clear rules. Yes, let's confuse the special ed students even more! When she walked out of the room, she did say she enjoyed the lesson.

So, the rest of the day Jessica is my shadow and I don't even go eat lunch because I'm too afraid to leave her alone. I also notice that her mother is talking to the Robocop (security guy) in the lobby, and then he keeps walking by my room every 15 minutes and looking in. Apparently I'm in Big Brother now.

I leave school that day as fast as humanly possible and cry about all of it to my husband that night. You may think I'm making a big deal out of all this and I'm too sensitive. Maybe I am. But before you judge, try spending 7 hours a day being these studnet's teaching, role model, mother, therapist, security and sometimes only positive, reliable person in their lives. And then making a bad call that makes them feel unsafe. One of my first priorities is to make my classroom a safe enviornemtn, and I didn't do that. I know I'm only one part of the equation, but I'm the first step.

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Rob and Jessica sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Today Aaron came up to me right before lunch and said, "Yesterday, during rest time, Rob and Jessica were kissing." (rest time is 10 min. after lunch they can take their jackets and lay down with the lights off. Sometimes I hear giggling from the corner.)
"Kissing?" I asked. He nodded his head "yes". I asked, "Where were they kissing?" He pointed to a desk. I said, "No, I mean where on their bodies?" He told me on their lips.

This baffled me. Rob and Jessica have had problems in the past. Last year he pushed her and slammed her finger in a door. Her mother came to the school with a police officer in tow and demanded to see the principal. Twice.

So I asked Jessica if she kissed Rob, and she started crying her eyes out. She said "yes, but I didn't tell her mom and dad" because she didn't want to get in trouble. She said, "Rob told me to kiss him so I did." At this point I could't tell if she was crying because she thought she was in trouble or because she really didn't want to kiss him. Then she said, "Aaron and Brad were kissing Rob too!"
WHAT!?

So after lunch I said, "Raise your hand if you kissed someone yesterday during rest time." Slowly their hands went up. One, two, three. "Be honest, please," I said. Four, five. Six. Seven. Every one of my kids had their hand raised! Girls kissing boys, boys kissing boys.

So we talked about why it's not OK to kiss each other. Germs, feelings, no touching, etc. I told them I have to call all their parents an tell them about this. Jack started getting very worked up, red in the face, panting, saying he's going to get grounded and get a detention. I called all their parents and told them to talk to their child about no kissing and no touching at school. Jessica's mom was worried that she kissed a girl. She says her own sister is gay, so Jessica might pick up on that.
Yes, it's that contagious.

Liar Liar, Pants on Fire!

This past week the investigator from the department that I reported Rob's family to called to update me on her findings. She told me that when she went to the house, she asked Rob to show her the knife that his brother cut him with. He went and got his mother's shaving razor and showed it to her. When he showed it to her, he ended up cutting the top of his finger. She asked him if that's how he cut his finger, and he said, "yes". Then when his brother came home, Rob started apologizing to his brother for making up the story. She also said the mother was very upset and showed the investigator how they hide all the sharp objects in the house and put them out of Rob's reach because he is "obsessed" with sharp objects.

OK. So last year I had a meeting with his mom and told her about how he cut his own hair with scissors, cut holes in his clothes, and took a razor apart and put the blade in his mouth! She NEVER mentioned that she has to hide the sharp objects at home. She just said, "OK, I'll talk to him." Like it doesn't even faze her. I'm sorry, but what the hell, lady? You would think she would tell me about this - so I could be reassured that she is also concerned about this situation and handling it. You would think.
So I end up feeling kind of duped for calling and reporting this incident. Yes, it's better that I call just in case; however, this situation reminds me of the fable, "The Boy Who Cried Wolf." Rob has been know in the past to make up stories. For example:

1. Last year he said his brother took a cell phone from Best Buy. When I asked his mom about it, he said, "Ha ha - I tricked you! The lady gave it to us." Turns out it was a display phone that a Best Buy employee was throwing away, so she just gave it to him.
2. A few weeks ago he moved Lacy's clip down one spot on the behavior chart. I asked the class if anyone moved the clip (If they touch a clip it's automatic blue, which means phone call home). He said, "no" when I directly asked him. Then I said to the whole class, "If I find out someone moved the clip and lied about it, he or she will get a detention. So if you moved the clip, you should tell me now." Sure enough Rob said, "OK, I did it."
3. Last year he came to school and showed me his new watch. I asked him where he got it, and he said, "I got it at Wal-Mart. I stole it." "You stole it? Why did you steal it?" I asked. He said, "My mom told me to. She said we didn't have enough money. I got one for my brother too." Now I don't know if this story is true.

Like I said, "The Boy Who Cried Wolf."

Oh no she didn't!

I have an update on the cut finger and phone call to the abuse department. So Thursday morning Rob came in over an hour late to school and tells me some lady came to his house in the morning and asked him about his finger. I asked him what he told her and he said, "I told her I cut it." "You said that you brother cut your finger," I said. He shook his head and said "no." Then he said his mom was in the office talking to the principal. Oh joy. Sure enough, two minutes later she marches over and says, "Can I see you two in the hall?" (to my aide and I). She asked us if we called the department, and we both said, "No." Then she said, "Well, I didn't think you would call over a little cut on his finger."
I was pissed. It's so illegal for her to even ask who called. It's a completely confidential process. Later that day I come to find out that other teachers at my school have called the department on his family before.

Then on Friday morning I was reading a story, and there was a picture of a kitten sleeping in fresh laundry. When I asked, "Why do kittens like to sleep in fresh laundry?" Rob raised his hand and said, "Once my cousin made me get in a dryer and closed the door and I went around and around." "That's very scary. Did you tell your mom?" I asked him. He said, "Yes, she didn't say anything."

I rest my case.

Dumbo

Jack has great hearing. It's like he has Dumbo sized ears. Yesterday he was on the other side of the classroom when I asked one of my students, "Daisy, why weren't you at school yesterday?" Immediately Jack runs over and yells, "We don't have school tomorrow!? Guys, we don't have school tomorrow!"
Wait, what just happened? Then I have to calm him down and tell him we do have school tomorrow, he's making things up, and to mind his own business. His face falls. Poor Dumbo.

The Complaint Box

My students love to complain. "He touched me", "He took my pencil", "Stephen said the B word" etc. Non-stop all day. So to deal with this immature and annoying behavior, I have a "Complaint Box" in my room. The box has a bunch of scraps of paper, and when a student is going to complain he/she writes it down on the paper and puts it in the box. At the end of the day I read all the complaints. This system works out well because if they are about to complain, I just say, "Put it in the box" or "Is this a complaint?" That triggers them to go write it down instead of saying it because if they do complain, then I move their clip down on the behavior chart. Plus they are forming sentences on their own and writing them down, which is always good.

Now the complaint box is amusing for a few reasons:
1. Most of my studnets cannot spell well. So most notes read something like, "Rob teld me the B wurld." Some are spelled so poorly I just give up.
2. When I read them all the studnets are quiet and watch my face to see what I'll do. I read (or in most cases pretend to read) them and make comments like, "really" or "wow, I'm surprised at you, Jack." That seems to satisfy the kids who wrote them enough.
3. My all-time favorite complaint so far this year is, "Aaron called me told me I'm a black kid." Hey, he spelled all the words correctly. Writing grade = A.

Down for the Count

Friday I was not feeling well all day at school. By the end of the school day I could barely drive home. I fell into my bed, slept for two hours, woke up and promptly vomited my lunch into the bathroom sink. Fun. Despite getting a flu shot this past fall, I got some variation of it anyway. My teaching aide sent me a text message at 9 p.m. that night saying she had just vomited and now had the flu as well. Figures - my students constantly sneeze into their hands, the air, and put their fingers in their noses and mouths. There's only so much hand washing and sanitizing one can do. We had to cancel the Superbowl Party we were going to have and I slept basically all weekend.

This morning I woke up debating going to work because my body is very weak (and my job is not exactly one you can throw worksheets at the kids and expect to sit at your desk). Then I thought about the lecture our principal gave us on Friday saying that she may have to "talk to some of us about our positions" and "maybe some of you just aren't the right fit for this school when you have too many absences or don't work an after-school program." It's really unfortunate when teachers feel their job is threatened if they say home because they really are sick. Obviously I made it through the day, but it was very long.

In other school news, Rob came to school and showed me his index finger. It had a band-aid around it, but not on the tip. The tip looked like it had been sliced with a knife 5 or 6 times. I asked him what happened, and he told me that his older brother cut him with a knife. I asked, "on purpose or accident?" he said on purpose. I asked him if he showed him mom, and he said he tried to tell her but she wouldn't wake up to look at it. This is not the first time this student has told me abusive things his brother has done to him (choking him, starting a fire on the stairs) and how his mom doesn't pay attention or care. Now I don't know if I can completely believe this child, but at the same time, what if this is true? So, as an educator it's my duty to call the abuse hotline and report this incident. I called and they said my information will remain completely confidential, which is good because the last time a teacher called this hotline the principal found out. She got pissed because the cops came to the school. It's interesting that she always says, "We're here for the studnets", but when the police get involved she doesn't want the school (or herself) look bad. Can you see a pattern developing here with her?
Well, they (the department) has to send an investigator to the home within 24 hours. They won't tell the mother it was me who called, but I am having visions of me walking into school tomorrow and getting attacked by his crazy mom with her cat pajamas on. I can already tell it's going to be an eventful week.